She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
