Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
