Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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