dude i'm inner monologue high
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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