; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Pappa wants mamma naked
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
