Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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