if i can run in heels then i can drive
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
