It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
