We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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