Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
