We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
