My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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