I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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