its not stalking. its research.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
