I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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