One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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