she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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