hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
