therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
