If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
