Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
