If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
