I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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