I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
