this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
