She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
