Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
