their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
