I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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