I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
