I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
