she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
