I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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