Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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