if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
