I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize