Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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