that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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