Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
