And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I stole a fireplace last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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