you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
