I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
