Yo dont text me then not text me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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