naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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