I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
