I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
