He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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