I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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