Can i not drive my cunt home
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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