Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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