trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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