You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
