why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
