He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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