I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
did i walk over a car last night?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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