Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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