OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Randomize
